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  • Writer's pictureSagan

HELL'S KITCHEN — You are what you eat in.

Does your kitchenware scream more “Murder She Wrote” than “Murder Worship”? Keeping your hand-me-down dishes you got when you moved into your first apartment might have sentimental value, but shouldn’t your space be a reflection of who you are? You are what you eat in. We have compiled a short selection of deliciously dark kitchen items to get you started on the right (left hand?) path to a glorious, brutal kitchen.

1. This intense knife block:

Knives are dangerous. If you like your blades menacing even when they are neatly put away, this knife block by Legnoart is the way to go. This ABS rubber-finished piece has 6 knives (meat, fish, fruit, vegetable and bread knives) as well as a fork integrated into the design, and comes in many colours, including matte black. It stands on its own and makes a killer centerpiece or countertop accessory.

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Available from Wine & Tablewear


2. These matte black drinking glasses:

If you’re looking for unique glassware that isn’t tacky, the choices are scarce. But if you’re willing to spend a pretty penny, these matte black drinking glasses are handmade in Chiba Japan and will make any cocktail look like a glass of deep dark oblivion. You can even get a matching pitcher.

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Available in 7.5oz and 10oz size from Rikumo


3. This matte black 5-piece cutlery set:

If you like your table setting to be dark in every detail, you’ve probably considered black cutlery before. This set is one of the most attractive (read: not cheap-looking) set we have seen. At almost $70 per place setting it might set you back more than you would like, but with durable PVD coating it is dishwasher-safe and will survive chipping, fading, tarnishing, and maybe even being driven through the skull of your enemy (no guarantee on that one).

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Available from Arhaus


4. These eco-friendly, sharp-as-hell knives:

There is a chance you don’t NEED a $140 kitchen knife if you’re not a professional chef, but if you feel like you do need it, the Furtif Evercut knives are probably what you want to invest in. It features a beautiful geometric patterned handle, and a matte black steel blade with laser-bonded titanium carbide surface. As their namesake hints, the Evercut knives stay sharp for a VERY long time and should only need to be sharpened every 25 years, or every time Wintersun releases a new album.

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Available from AR+


5. This matte black stovetop espresso maker to match your coffee and soul:

Do you folks like coffee? There are as many ways to make it as there are to take it, but a tried and true method is the good ol’ moka pot. Looking to invest in one? Taking a sharp modern turn away from the classic design, the Ossidiana coffee maker is a mean matte black brewing machine, and a perfect addition to your kitchen. Brutal.

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Available from Alessi


6. This unsettling candle holder reminiscent of Anna Chromý’s Il Commandatore for your (nec)romantic candlelit dinners:

Just because your heart is black doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a nice candlelit dinner or relaxing bath. The Final Flame candle holder will serve its purpose, and even when not in use, it looks unsettling enough to have around as a conversation piece, or to creep out incompatible Tinder matches.

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Available from


7. This dinnerware set that looks high-end AF but won’t break the bank:

A great addition to a dark kitchen theme, this stoneware set looks high-end but is actually a great bang for your buck. Black-as-night service for 6 people with a modern pattern reminiscent of delicate lace or smoldering carbonised flesh; it looks brutal enough for your black metal friends, and posh enough for your in-laws to think you really have your shit together.

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Available from Wayfair

In the end, how you choose to present yourself and your home is yours, and there is nothing more metal than making your own decisions regardless of the norm. Blackest black or glittery gold, there are no right or wrong when it comes to personal style. But sleek black is timeless, genderless, and goes well with everything — and that means your power metal kitten riding a unicorn over the rainbow coffee mug will stand out even more. Win-win!

Note: This article is not sponsored by anyone and none of the links contained in this article are affiliate links.


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